teradyneezeri: (Default)
Something that has apparently been weighing on my mind is a state all Prism Dragons pass through, the name being translated as “evolution of personality.”

Upon reaching a specific state of maturity, a member of my species will find themselves changing on a mental level. Most simply become more “mature” in a sense, taking on an extremely submissive, humble, and polite personality. Some become more dominant, even to an extreme degree—one of my siblings, Vega, is a good example of this outcome. An exceedingly rare group of my kind stay the same, though admittedly two of my other siblings have ended up this way.

I have found myself suppressing my own evolution, as my new personality is one that slightly clashes with what I am. I am both more dominant, and more submissive—a cross of the two outcomes. On one side, I am much more polite in my natural state, and somewhat humble. However, I also find myself with very dominant-oriented urges, some at a primal level, much like my sister Vega

This clashes with how many see my “human self”. Up until my personality evolution, I was somewhat happy-go-lucky and casual, sometimes going off on rants about various subjects. I soon found that the person behind that wasn’t me, but being how others view me, I felt the need to continue being that person.

Today, I am still rather wary of allowing my evolved personality to show. People who know me expect a very casual person when they chat with me, and in some instances, I have managed to “irk” more that a few people with my polite mannerisms. They find it unsettling, or else think I am going to suddenly become extremely hateful towards them. I know some who do not mind, but it still worries me.

My evolved self is honestly how I see myself now, but for those around me, I suspect it will take some time to adjust and become more comfortable with showing that side. It will take time for me, and for those people.

August 2015

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